Wednesday 4 February 2015

I Turned Things Around

The weather the last few days has been very snowy, and beautiful and wintery to say the least. The roads have not been the safest to travel on because of all of the snow, and ironically, every time there has been risk of a big snowfall, I have been enroute to or from Toronto, or even just a short trip from home. Nevertheless, I am becoming quite comfortable with travelling in winter conditions...to some degree. I was in Toronto this weekend celebrating a birthday when we had to head home early because of a pending snow storm, but fortunately I was travelling with the Jeep, and ONLY because I promised myself the LAST time I was coming home from Toronto in the middle of a snow storm in my little Kia, that I would NEVER risk that drive again without the Jeep.
It's a part of living in Canada, and in this part of Ontario, the weather is unpredictable at times, but really, we can't just staying home every time the snow falls and makes travel a little challenging. Just like with life, we can't just not do what might be a little out of our comfort zone because it isn't easy. It's a bit of a storm. But when do you decide that it is not wise. It isn't always the best choice to weather the storm or just keep driving on.
Tonight I was heading in to Dresden to teach my bootcamp class which was only a twelve to fifteen minute drive in good weather from my house. I had already made a trip on the road in my car from Bothwell to my home, which was about the same distance and I was feeling a bit uncomfortable about the fact that I committed to teaching class that night. It was snowing lightly all afternoon, but I really didn't want to have to miss the second class this week. I waited for Barry to get home with the Jeep, and thought that we would just take our time but get there safety. I said we, because I was travelling with four of the girls. One was joining me at class, two were heading to their theory class and one was off to her girls club.
As we headed down the road,  things were not looking the greatest. I said to the girls that the roads were not good and I was considering turning around. It wasn't slippery, but visibility was horrible. I couldn't see the line on the middle of the road, and I was very uncomfortable with that. The girls seemed nervous and were being very quiet, I think because they could feel how tense I was, so I let them know I was going to turn around when it was safe. I made the decision after I asked my sixteen year old what I should do. She just looked at me and said," it's up to you mom, your the one driving!"
I felt a sense of relief as soon as I turned the vehicle around and headed towards home, but I also felt horrible for knowing that I was letting down the people,that were expecting us to be were we said we would be. But overall, the feeling that I was making the best decision at that time, trumped any of the disappointment that others might have had in me.
It isn't always up to someone else to decide what storms we weather, and when we turn around and retreat back to safety. It isn't  wise to try and please others and not prepare,yourself for what is ahead. What is most important is what is best, wisest, and safest for you and those closest to you in that moment. I had to decide, and I knew that it was not worth the risk.
So how do we know. I probably could have made it safety to town, but what if  I didn't. What if I tried, and ended up in the ditch with the girls, or even worse. You never know, and that is why you trust your instincts and your surroundings, and follow your gut. I asked, and wanted confirmation to do what I knew was best all along, but that is our need to please people around us. Don't go with that. Especially when you are asking a group of young girls, none of which even drive.....what was I thinking?? Don't worry about how your decision might let others down, and don't turn off the voice of wisdom that says, turn around. Listen to the smartest, loudest, clearest voice. It is usually the one that could care less about pleasing people....listen to that.
There will always be storms. We will always have to make decisions. Like my situation tonight, life will bring you the same.  Sometimes it is going to be a very clear, smooth road to travel on, where visibility is 100%, and sometimes the road is going to be slippery, and messy with no clear view of where you are. Do what you need to do to stay safe. In my case, I had to turn around. Sometimes, you just need to pull over, take a break and keep going. Sometimes, you can call ahead and let people know it's just going to take you a little while longer. Whatever the case, make the right call. Do the right thing. Sometimes it really is ok to turn things around.

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